As hard has it is to explain and in spite of all the hurt he has caused, I still believe that he is the person I am meant to be with in this life. It is not every day that you find someone who makes you feel the way he has made me feel and as pathetic as it is to admit, I don't want to let him go. So, with that, I have decided to settle for this, "friendship."I have decided to settle for continuing to interact with him in any way that is possible to do so, whether that means I only get to talk to him once a week or even once a year. I have elected to watch him live his life with a person I know is not right for him and I have chosen to keep my mouth shut about my feelings indefinitely not matter how much it eats away at me. The worst part is that not a single one of my desires has waned. Not one has become less intense, or less aggravating, in the past weeks regardless of any logic I have tried to force myself to acknowledge. I thought the dreams of him would cease if we ended. I made my way through Perry's crowd to thechairs and tables where Rich, Art and JJ were chatting. "Steve! Wow, thatPerry is something else, right? We were betting if he's a virgin. Whatsay you?"I smiled. Typical, Art and JJ were notorious gamblers and Rich must havegot pulled in. "Not with girls, I think he's had a few, but he said he'snever been with a man. Hard to believe looking like that. Tim wouldprobably have more details, he's Perry's sponsor."I was impatient so pulled Rich out of his chair. "I'm just borrowing thisgentleman for a few minutes." Art and JJ laughed and I'm sure they bet onhow long I would last. We walked a few steps away to an free armchair,hand in hand. I pulled Rich to me, roughly grabbed his balls and held theback of his head with my other hand. "Fuck Rich, I need to get off and Iknow you love this. Lean over the back of the chair. Now." Rich was verysubmissive and lived for this sort of thing. He quickly followed myorders and bent over, legs apart, quivering.
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